Character Photos, a Word Count and a Somewhat Gruesome Story

involving a chainsaw

Hey,

I’m behind schedule with this note, and I’ll tell you why before we get to some controversial pitch deck slides and a writing update.

We’ve had record-setting levels of rain here in the Fayetteville area, and with rain you get wind storms, flash floods, and even tornados. Not to mention Spider-Squids and Hyena Toads crawling out to enjoy the damp, monsters you know how to deal with thanks to this newsletter.

Things like that add drama to life in small doses. In big doses, they get inconvenient. The ground here has barely been dry for the last two months. Loads of mud. Stick a shovel in and you find water right away. A delivery truck got stuck in our front yard and turned it into a War Hog wallow.

Unfortunately, that’s set us back on outdoor projects. Those include building a garage to store thousands of Casey Grimes books. That’s not happening right now, which means our daily movements are still hampered by hundreds of boxes of books and…other things.

We’ve literally forgotten what’s inside some of these boxes. Why did we move them in the first place? The contents must be important but they’re mysterious. Some day we’ll open them up like time capsules. Hey, remember when you used to wear those clothes? But until the garage gets built, there’s nothing we can do about it. So instead of worrying about that, when we get a nice day, I try to get my writing done fast so I can hurry outside and grab my chainsaw.

It’s not building a garage, but hey, cutting a trail through the woods is something.

On the topic of chainsaws. Back when I used mine once or twice a year, I didn’t realize how much maintenance they need. It turns out a chainsaw creates one of those situations where you spend as much time getting ready to do work as you do on the actual thing. At this point, I’ve spent hours sharpening chains, then watching YouTubes on how to sharpen chains, adding oil, adding gas, taking the saw apart and putting it back together. It’s like learning a sport, hours of practice for every game you play. Chainsaw Maintenance probably needs to be a class at Trickery—but with a better name.

Tips and Tricks for Chainsaw Mastery. Emergency Chainsaw Defense. Chainsaw Treeways 101. Something.

And now for a somewhat gruesome story.

During our last big storm, a tornado came through a half mile from our house and took big trees down along with the electricity. The power went out, and we were lighting candles, running around with flashlights, and stepping outside into the stormy night now and then to check for funnel clouds—as one does.

I didn’t know anything was wrong until I saw blood on the floor. Big splotches, like someone had been walking around, dripping. In the pitch blackness, I’d never have noticed except the blood was lit up by a flashlight beam—which has to be one of the nastiest ways to find a blood trail in your dining room. At that point, I noticed my youngest girl, Gwendolyn, seemed a little upset although she wasn’t saying anything. It was weird and confusing thanks to the dark—like something bad had magically happened and no one had seen it.

By then we had figured out the blood was coming from one of Gwen’s hands. I got her over to the sink to rinse things off and get her fingers under a flashlight, and I was looking at a serious level of mangle. I won’t go into a CreepCat level of detail here, except to say it looked like Gwen had stuck her finger in a blender—or got nicked by a chainsaw.

And the storm was loud enough, maybe a chainsaw could’ve been running.

Back when I was a teen I did a stint as an Emergency Medical Technician, and I was pretty good. A big part of the job is not being bothered by gore, or at least entering a mode where you are temporarily not bothered—even though you maybe are. So I said, “This will be fine. Let’s pack up and head to the ER.”

And we did, wrapping up that ripped finger, moving around carefully in the dark. After driving through the storm, over a flooded section of highway and around downed trees, we reached the ER, which should have been called a WNSIRAER, We’re Not Sure It’s Really An Emergency Room. Three hours was a long wait.

Gwendolyn took the opportunity to show off the qualities which partly inspire Gloria Grimes—toughness, humor, and a kind of crazy level of courage. When she finally got treated by the nurse, Gwen said, “This stings a little,” and the nurse said, “It’s unbelievable how tough you are. I do this all the time and it makes grown men cry.”

Final tally: three stitches, fingernail ripped off, nail bed damaged, one hairline fracture. We’re praying the nail grows back.

When we walked out of the ER, there kind of was a Gloria Grimes moment with the hospital staff watching Gwen leave with a smile on her face. She’d made them into fans in record time.

And now that it’s over, except for cleaning the injury a couple times a day, I can admit it was a shocking experience. And as for the chainsaw? Safely in its weatherproof box. Somehow, we’re not sure how, Gwen slammed her own finger in the lock of our back door. Maybe distracted by the tornado.

Did you really think there was a chainsaw in this story?

Now that you’re caught up, here’s another batch of slides from the pitch deck for Casey Grimes. The first batch are here. These ones are all character photos, which means some of them are sure to be controversial. To see them all, you’ll probably have to click through to the post.

Personally, I’m pretty happy with Robert’s picture. He looks suitably fierce. Luci isn’t quite right but she’s close. Ms. Crake’s hair color is wrong, obviously, but you wouldn’t believe how impossible it is to find photos of youngish blond women with the Craken’s toughness, smarts, and brand of weird.

What do you think? Which one is just terrible? Which one misses, but only barely? Are any of them just right? And since I had to write captions for all these, which is your favorite one?

Another batch of slides from the Casey Grimes pitch deck

As you probably know, the idea with the pitch deck is to get a film studio interested in the story. No movement yet, but my agent likes the deck, so we cleared that hurdle. One thing at a time. Which reminds me, I need to give that guy a call.

Finally, an update on Casey #5 and book #7 overall. The manuscript has crossed 30,000 words which means it’s roughly two thirds or sixty-six percent done. These are important stats to an author. As you no doubt remember, we’re shooting for approximately 50,000 words. So the end is kind of, sort of, in sight.

It’s been tough to get in rhythm this spring, for reasons you can guess at. Kind of a muddy, uphill slog. The last couple weeks, I’ve been getting up and forcing myself to hit my writing quota first thing—before I go check on the health of my chainsaw or anything else.

My daily quota is 500 words. It doesn’t seem like much. Yeah, I sometimes go over. Some days I pound 500 out like warm-ups, flex, and keep on going to 1000. Other times I have to drag myself across the finish line when my imagination clocks out for the day around 250.

In the past I was able to crank out a couple thousand words a day. My high mark was four thousand, which is a big bite of a novel at eight percent. Let me tell you, that felt pretty great. So the slower pace is tough.

But the important thing is to keep writing. Keep stringing back-to-back writing days together.

Which brings us to our final note. The next Sylvan Spy will be a writing advice post, and I’ll be answering your questions. I already have some, and I’d be happy to have more, so send them over. Until then, check both ways for monsters.

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